Here: http://archiveofourown.org/works/5114120 (5.4k words)
Summary:
The whole business about God creating Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve, makes him laugh. For one, he had there, too. For another, pretty much everything back then had been made by God, when the world was still all shiny and new.
He doesn’t think he has ever gone by the name of Steve, though. Not that it matters much. These days, he usually goes by the name of Napoleon Solo.
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Or: The one where Illya and Gaby are reincarnated throughout history, but Napoleon still manages to find them anyway. Please be warned that this fic contains liberal reinterpretation of biblical themes and references. If this is not your cup of tea, you may wish to give this fic a pass.
I think the only thing I can say to about this is, what did I even write ohmygod. More author’s notes and fun history facts on the AO3 page. And again, please be warned for the liberal reinterpretation of biblical themes and references (if it isn’t evident from the opening lines)!
If you wanted anime level stat uselessness, here it is
Alexander Waverly- http://blinkstep.com/post/132193987935
Napoleon Solo- http://blinkstep.com/post/132194967380
Illya Kuryakin- http://blinkstep.com/post/132195633850
Gaby Teller- http://blinkstep.com/post/132196149455
I cannot get away from thinking about that last scene with Illya, in which he is ordered to kill Napoleon because Napoleon has the disc.
Now, here’s the thing: this is some clever film-making. Because of course, Illya begins to have a psychosis reaction as soon as he gets this information, right? But which information? In other words, there are two important bits of information Illya is handed in that phone call: a) Solo has managed to snake the disc out from under him, and b) he has been ordered to kill Solo. So… which one is it? Is he freaking out because Solo got the better of him, or is he freaking out because he has to kill this man he has come to respect, to like, and to trust as he has very few, maybe, in his adult life? The film teases the viewer, and refuses to give us the answer directly.
The clue is this: every other time Illya has a psychosis reaction, it is in response to verbal or physical violence, threatened or otherwise. He does NOT have a psychosis reaction because someone has gotten the better of him, or because a strategy has not turned out the way he hoped, or because of a sudden plot twist. It is violence that he responds to, every time. Violence begets violence.
Illya has a psychosis reaction because he is being asked to kill. He knows it is unavoidable. He knows – or thinks he does, until Solo shows him the way out – that he has no choice. It is the imminent violence that is causing his reaction, and for the very FIRST TIME, he is having a psychosis reaction not because he is longing to kill, but because HE DOES NOT WANT TO KILL. This is huge. This is a character-defining moment for Illya. It is his first moment of powerful revulsion at violence, his first rejection of it.
Illya Kuryakin has a psychosis reaction because he does not want to kill; because something – someone – has become more important to him than his orders. I’m not trying to suggest that Illya at this point has a romantic attachment to Solo; I’m suggesting that their partnership, and loyalty to that partnership, has quietly become the single most important thing to him. If you doubt me, check out his foot pressing that pedal on the torturer’s electric chair, the torturer who caused Solo such unimaginable pain.
So this beautiful scene is doing double duty: it is showing us how deep, how powerful, is Illya’s connection to his partner, and it is showing us that maybe, just possibly, with a lot of help from that partner, he will be able one day to emerge from this horrible feedback loop his body is caught in, of pathological desire for violence.
tl;dr Illya loves Napoleon all other interpretations are WRONG WRONG WRONG.
Trying to write TMFU fic - always difficult, because I write so slowly, and real life often interferes - and my draft basically features text place-holders like:
Illya’s voice is husky. Napoleon’s mouth goes dry. They fuck.
I wish fic-writing were so easy as to be able to just leave the text like that.
Here: http://archiveofourown.org/works/4960183 (10.6k words)
Summary:
Napoleon was used to seeing all sorts in his shop: harried office types who knocked back their espressos before grabbing a long black to go, bored housewife types who took their lattes heavy on the syrups and low on the fat, tourists who ordered their coffees topped with whipped cream as they embraced a certain vacation-based joie de vie, college kids simply looking for a cheap caffeine fix while they took advantage of his free Wi-Fi.
Six foot five, blond and leanly muscled, on the other hand, at seven in the morning and with the most delicious jawline Napoleon had seen in days, was certainly a first.
—
Or: The modern day coffee shop AU in which Napoleon makes Illya all kinds of coffee except for Illya’s actual order, and things aren’t all quite what they seem to be.
This started because I had discovered an interesting coffee place near my office two weeks ago, which (naturally, when you’re a fangirl) led to Napollya thoughts along the lines of: “Napoleon tries to woo Illya with coffee. Illya wants something black and simple. Napoleon insists on making him all kinds of fancy drinks to show his ~adoration. Illya despairs.” The original idea was only supposed to be ~1k long. I’m not sure how it became ten times longer than that. While I’m holidaying in London this past week, no less.